Out {OLD}, In {NEW}

People do different things on the occasion of a New Year. Get the tax paperwork together. Put new batteries in the smoke detector. Ride Icycle Bicycle (REI, 1100). Update your Memex bookmarks. Gather with friends at 11pm.

This is my 2010-2011 visual metaphor for "out with the old, in with the new".


It's time to send my well-worn, scuffed up 2010 bicycle water bottles to the recycling center and replace them with fresh new bidons. < cynic >(IF the people in that nice blue truck actually take them to a recycling center and don't just bury them in a landfill because it's cheaper/ easier/ greener.)< /cynic >

I prefer translucent bottles, but my Local Bike Shop (LBS) had white and I think it's important to support your LBS. My LBS is the Ambridge Bike Shop, truly great people there.


I'd feel like an adulterer riding around with water bottles from another bike shop. (or at least, what I'd imagine an adulterer would feel like). But if I were going to stray with a non-LBS water bottle, it would probably be either a CleanBottle or one of these listing Velocio's Seven Commandments. So I'm not too virtuous; I'm staying true but I'm also keeping an eye on the options.

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Also, on this very last day of the year I've ridden my 2010 goal of 2000 miles.

It's not a very big number, and a lot of people do an awful lot more, but it was a good goal for me, this year.






Happy New Year.

Redemption: New and Improved Ben Roethlisberger

I am so relieved that we've all managed to put the icky unpleasantness about drunken forced sex behind us.

From Wednesday's Post-Gazette, the Pittsburgh Pro Football Writers have determined that Ben most exemplifies The Chief. I'm sure the Rooney's are pleased.



From Thursday's Post-Gazette, we have:



Nothing supports Ed Bouchette's assertion that there is more evidence of a new and improved Ben Roethlisberger off the field. The article certainly doesn't describe any indication of new-and-improved off-the-field Ben.

But maybe there is evidence, and I've missed it. Have you seen any? Have you seen anything like these possibilities?

• Ben's anti-date-rape public service announcement
• Ben's "no-means-no" lecture series to local football teams
• Ben giving 10% of his salary to Milledgeville's rape prevention program

If there is evidence of anything like these examples of a new-and-improved Ben, Mr. Bouchette should have cited it. If I've missed it, please feel free to enter it as a comment.

You probably haven't seen anything like that, because denial isn't as effective as changing the conversation. When Richard Nixon said, "I am not a crook", people thought about Nixon in terms of "crookedness". That's why Ben moves the focus into, Boy am I glad I've put that interception throwing thing behind me, to me interceptions are just the worst thing, let's look to next week, I sure hope there's no interceptions, because I like to take pride in that". He's getting great advice. In fact, 54 percent of Western Pennsylvania residents hold a "favorable" opinion of the Steelers' quarterback.



It certainly looks like Ben is redeemed, and it took all of four months.

I would love to see an end-of-year "where are they now?" interview with that young college student from Milledgeville, GA. How is she doing? Has she found redemption, too?

Are there any journalists in Pittsburgh, or just Pro Football Writers?

Football: Organized, Voluntary Brain Damage

There's an excellent article in Sunday's Post-Gazette titled, "A career of concussions: Football damaged my brain and it didn't have to happen", by George Visger, a former San Francisco 49er (1980, 1981).

Mr. Visger, who has had nine brain surgeries attributed to his 13 years of football experience¹, has written an open letter to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and NFLPA Executive Director DeMaurice Smith. He also contributes to discussions about football injuries.

Money quote from the Post-Gazette article: "It's time we realize the human brain was not meant to be used as a weapon or repeatedly banged into the ground."

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¹ Seems significant that Mr. Visger calculates his time of damaging behavior as "13 years of football", starting from his 11-year-old Pee Wee Pop Warner experience (and his first of many concussions) and ending with his two seasons of professional football.

Digital Killed the Bus Crash Story

I saw this headline in today's New York Times and I felt quite nostalgic:



Back in the day, the foreign bus crash story was a staple of the Gray Lady. It was not that the paper wanted to show off the breadth of its international staff; these short, dispensable stories were a necessity in the days of analog (physical) typographic layout.

Once upon a time, type was set in hot lead, and the columns were supposed to be of equal length. No writer knew what length (in column-inches) the other writers had produced; the odds were against the columns balancing out.

To resolve the problem, the NY Times kept a constantly updated stock of bus crash stories, brief short pieces that could be used as filler. They were called "K-heds".



There were other types of stories used for column balancing; they weren't all bus crashes — there were reports of arriving ambassadors and departing steam ships — but the bus crash became a self-parodying favorite among the writers and editors.

In 2006, Jack Shafer wrote a Slate article exploring "the rise and fall of the 'bus plunge' story", and explained that the introduction of cold type in the late 1970's, and the 1980's development of page layout software did away with the need for the "bus plunge K-hed".

What made today's headline jump out at to me is that it's the first bus crash story I've seen in the paper of record for years if not decades, and I realize that it's only present because of the American fatalities - as Jack Shafer quoted foreign correspondent Mort Rosenblum's formulation, "A hundred Pakistanis going off a mountain in a bus make less of a story than three Englishmen drowning in the Thames."

Christmas Venn Diagrams

This is from "The Santa Brand Guide", a tongue-in-cheek demo project by a British marketing shop — which explains the UK references: Alex Ferguson is coach for Man United; Tommy Cooper was a Welsh magician; The Laughing Policeman was a novel, an American film (Walter Matthau and Bruce Dern), and a UK children's series.

Social Network: Christmas 2.0

How would it go in today's world?



hat tip: Kevin

Pro Football, the Steelers, and Elizabeth Seeburg

The Steelers and their ongoing employment of Big Ben lead me to write about football and culture and the death of Elizabeth Seeburg. (kudos: Infi)

First, let's approach an often-quoted theme regarding football in general and the Steelers and Roethlisberger in particular: the notion is that as long as they're winning, behavior doesn't matter. It's summed up in the saying, "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing."

The derivative of this misguided philosophy is that off-duty conduct, off-the-field conduct, and in fact anything that doesn't affect "the mission" is an irrelevant distraction. It doesn't matter that the police officer gets arrested for drunk driving or beating his girlfriend. It doesn't matter what the franchise player does in the off-season; what matters is one narrowly defined metric.

This sophistry is wrong in its failure to recognize the scope of the damage, and it's not applicable anyway -- because the Steelers don't win more games with Ben Roethlisberger. This year, they won 75% of their games without Ben, and 70% of their games with Ben. Even this mercenary, utilitarian justification doesn't withstand scrutiny. (see tables below)

It's irrelevant whether the Steelers win; they're a corporate, athletic entertainment franchise. What's relevant to the Steelers is their profits. Look at the Pirates, who have had several successful years making money while losing games because of their staffing business strategy.

What's relevant to us is the benefit/damage to our people, the benefit/damage to our culture, and the economic profit/loss of off-balance-sheet expenses.

Football (as we know it) is unacceptable because:

• it damages the brains of the professionals and the kids who play it, and
• our culture develops and tolerates irresponsibility among football players, whether they're professionals or six-year olds

Here's a few indications:

• Steeler Heath Miller has missed two games because of brain trauma.
• Football is the sport with the highest rate of youth injuries.
• "It's obscene," Michael Collins, assistant director of UPMC's Sports Medicine Concussion Program, said of the number of young players seeking treatment for concussions.
• See the story of Elizabeth Seeburg's recent suicide after reporting her alleged sexual battery by a Notre Dame footballer. (hat tip: Infi)
  • Consider the Oct.2010 death of Declan Sullivan, whose film platform collapsed during a windy ND football practice.
  • Consider the April 2010 death of Notre Dame football recruit Matt James
• In this week's news, three Idaho football players were charged with sexual crimes; more victims are coming forward.

That's three 2010 student fatalities involving Notre Dame football. There are combat units with better statistics. Nobody's firing the coach; ND only fires coaches for losing.


The Steeler's keeping Roethlisberger was wrong because it perpetuates a culture of thuggish, violent irresponsibility. For all their reputation as a class act, the Rooney family had a chance to make a statement and they went for the money.

The travesty isn't Ben, it's the Rooneys and the Steelers, the parents and the coaches. The trend (and the damage) are bigger than Ben and Art. The blame for the glorification of athletes falls to the people that raised them this way, the grownups with their own agendas (who benefited from their prowess and status) and taught them as children that football players can live by different rules.

And what I really don't get is: people with wives and daughters dress their families in Steelers jerseys. Here we go Steelers, here we go!

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A Comparison: Steelers Performance Without and With Ben Roethlisberger

Week 1: Atlanta	WIN	No Ben	3 out of 4 75% WIN WITHOUT BEN
Week 2: Tennessee	WIN	No Ben
Week 3: Tampa Bay	WIN	No Ben
Week 4: Baltimore	LOSS	No Ben
Week 6: Cleveland	WIN	Ben	7 out of 10 70% WIN WITH BEN
Week 7: Miami	WIN	Ben
Week 8: New Orleans	LOSS	Ben
Week 9: Cincinnati	WIN	Ben
Week 10: New England	LOSS	Ben
Week 11: Oakland	WIN	Ben
Week 12: Buffalo	WIN	Ben
Week 13: Baltimore	WIN	Ben
Week 14: Cincinnati	WIN	Ben
Week 15: NewYork Jets	LOSE	Ben

Week 16: Carolina	---	Ben
Week 17: Cleveland	---	Ben

Bad Christmas Gift Idea: Don't Do This

As we approach Christmas we see a plethora of "great Christmas gift ideas". I'd like to share a cautionary note: it's not how you intend the gift, it's how the recipient perceives the gift.

Many many years ago when Dummies books were new, a friend and their spouse were discussing finances, and there was perhaps a bit of tension in the ongoing discussion. My Friend thought, what could I give Spouse to read that would help them to understand? Friend went out and bought Spouse a book.

Friend intended to give a gift that said, "I love you and I care about this issue and I think that your having this knowledge would help us both".

Spouse received a gift that seemed to say, "You're a dummy and I've been searching for a passive aggressive way to tell you that, because you never listen. And you're not a competent adult."

If I were the Spouse, I'd have given Friend another book to read, and then checked back in to see how it was working for them.

Which leads me to think, Where is the safety net? What's protecting me from this risk? Why aren't there DDT (don't do this) lists for gift-giving?


Here's my first submission for a DDT list for Christmas gifts: the bicycle bungee.




You might think it says, "Honey I want to spend time outdoors with you, I want to share my bicycle passion with you, I want to help you over the hills - in fact, this tether of support is just a metaphor for our relationship. I want to be there for you, honey."




What the recipient will hear is, "I need to do some weight training so I'm willing to connect a retractable dog leash to your bike and haul your big lard ass up some hills. p.s. The dog leash is a metaphor."

Don't do this.

Happy Beethoven's Birthday

Christmas Tech Support: the Geek Who Saved Christmas

I really enjoy computers and all the geek devices. I even know the words to the "I Love Technology" song from Napoleon Dynamite. I am inclined by nature to enjoy these machines and tools.

Being a Geek is both a Blessing and a Curse. It's problematic because you're a resource to the non-digerati. Heraclitus said You can't step into the same river twice, and computers are the same way. You can't touch the same computer twice; the second time you approach it, you're working on the computer you broke last time, whether or not you actually broke it.



I love Christmas. I love the holiday spirit. I love the way that Christmas is a PowerPoint-free-zone. I love the way that work and schedules recede and family moves more to the forefront. I love giving a gift and watching for the "wow" factor in the recipient.

Christmas gifts sometimes include computers and printers and wifi a/b/g/n (oh my). A parent can spend a lot of money on Junior's computer and the immediate payback for the parent may be clarification of their ineptitude. What other consumer product presents buyers with such a frustrating experience while their family waits to play Doom Black Ops?

My personal expertise is just PCs. It's a narrow niche that's becoming smaller. I don't know an X-Box from a PlayStation. I wouldn't be of any use with a motion-sensing Kinect. But I grok PCs.

It's cool to be able to offer friends and family Christmas tech support. It's sort of a chance to be a hero; you can be The Geek That Saved Christmas. In the spirit of giving, I'd like to share the Geek Secrets of Christmas Tech Support. Here's the short version:

• First do no harm.
  (Don't break anything else while you're trying to fix the initial gremlin.)
• Turn it off, turn off the power, leave the room.
• come back, turn on the power, turn it on.

If you'd prefer a more detailed version, XKCD offers this process flow-chart:



I would offer one ironclad rule that I would ask you to accept at face value: if you're visiting somebody that's having a PC problem over the holidays, never never ever say, "Wouldn't have this issue with a Mac". Trust me on this.

Finally, I'd like to suggest this link to http://www.teachparentstech.org/, which is a Google project designed to send computer instructions to the non-geeks in your family. Ho Ho Ho.

You've Got To Bereave: Pittsburgh Ghoul Pool?

You Gotta Bereave is a pretty cool website.
(No, I didn't mispell You Gotta Believe.)

What drove me to that site?

• googling 'Elizabeth Edwards'
  
• the eye-catching recent headline at MacYapper, JFK Humor: What, Too Soon?
  
• the upcoming Post Gazette series, Mapping Mortality, which has been hawked in the newspaper the way that local television news pimps scary stories, as in "What common house cleaner unexpectedly causes cancer? Find out during our second hour."

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I'd like to ask, is anybody interested in a Pittsburgh Ghoul Pool? We'd use a variation of these rules. There'll be extra points for picking Pittsburgh players. Players can be selected by more than one team, so there's need for an unseemly rush to glomm Sophie Masloff.

If you'd be interested in choosing a team for a 2011 Ghoul Pool, please leave a comment.

The Ben Roethlisberger Performance Metric: New Data Points

An earlier post described the Steeler's performance before and after the return of prodigal player Ben Roethlisberger and quantified the "Ben Gap", which is the difference in the team's performance with and without Ben.

Generically, you'd think that a team would do much better with the multi-million dollar franchise player than they would without the key player. So far, the Steelers do just as well without Ben as they do with Ben. If I was an Owner, I'd be wondering what I was getting for my annual cost of 12.75 million (even if I did save 1.6M in salary during the four-game sabbatical).

Week 1: Atlanta	WIN	No Ben	75% WIN WITHOUT BEN
Week 2: Tennessee	WIN	No Ben
Week 3: Tampa Bay	WIN	No Ben
Week 4: Baltimore	LOSS	No Ben
Week 6: Cleveland	WIN	Ben	75% WIN WITH BEN
Week 7: Miami	WIN	Ben
Week 8: New Orleans	LOSS	Ben
Week 9: Cincinnati	WIN	Ben
Week 10: New England	LOSS	Ben
Week 11: Oakland	WIN	Ben
Week 12: Buffalo	WIN	Ben
Week 13: Baltimore	WIN	Ben

The table below identifies impending data points.

Week 14: Cincinnati	---	Ben
Week 15: NewYork Jets	---	Ben
Week 16: Carolina	---	Ben
Week 17: Cleveland	---	Ben

The Ben makes 250% of what Troy Polamalu is paid. Is that justified? If the team does as well without Ben as it does with Ben, is any of his salary justified? Because earlier in the year, when questions were asked, the Rooneys said it was all about winning football games.

Chaos Theory: Oberstar, Mica, Bike Trails

"Chaos Theory" deals with complex integrated systems and the unexpected, non-trivial macro outcomes of what would be generally considered micro-events. A butterfly in Iran flaps its wings, the monsoon in India lasts a little longer, African textiles are now more competitive, new schools open and literacy improves, and so on.

People in Minnesota voted and an established incumbent is replaced by the challenger. People in Florida decided to keep their incumbent. Across the county, for a thousand different reasons, people choose Red or Blue, and the small changes add up to a switch in the majority in the House of Representatives, which will bring non-trivial changes to many aspects of our lives.

"Transportation Policy" is an uninspired phrase that will never serve as a pickup line, but transportation is a major factor in our modern specialized lives. Probably everything in your house and everything in your pantry comes through the transportation system.

While we'd like to think our economic system is a pastiche of individual enterprises led by Adam Smith's invisible hand, there are in fact people in charge of the transportation structure. People like the Dept. of Transportation, which is a federal agency in the Executive Branch, which is funded and given oversight by Congress. (Boring, I know, but stick with me here, please.)

I've recently written about how the change in "ownership" (a telling concept, that) of the House of Representatives will result in significant changes in terms of river transportation policy. The key under-story is that the replacement of James Oberstar with John Mica as Chairman of the House Transportation Committee will have profound implications for the national transportation system.

Today brings us a message posted on the Montour Trail Yahoo Group from the Rails-To-Trails Conservancy. The message describes the impact that replacing Oberstar with Mica will have on bike trails.

To: Three-Rivers-Heritage-Trail@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wed, December 1, 2010 10:37:35 AM
Subject: [Three-Rivers-Heritage-Trail] A message from Kevin Mills, Rails-to-Trails Conservancy

Please help RTC stave off dangerous walking and bicycling attacks in the next transportation reauthorization! Encourage your colleagues and friends to visit www.railstotrails.org/AAA.

As you may imagine, the election results are already having a profound impact on the debate over reauthorization of federal transportation policy.

Decades-long cycling champion and current chair of the U.S. House of Representatives Transportation and Infrastructure Committee James Oberstar (D-Minn.) lost his Congressional seat, costing our movement a passionate and knowledgeable transportation leader. As Republicans assume control of the House, John Mica (R-Fla.) is set to become the next committee chair, and Nick Rahall (D-W.V.) will be the ranking member of the committee.

One key argument I expect will gain significant traction in the new Congress will be the idea of a user-fee funded transportation system. In other words, instead of using gas taxes to develop balanced transportation systems that best meet the needs of communities, some seek to turn back the clock decades to a time when gas taxes were limited solely to providing roads and highways for automobiles. If this view takes root, it would effectively eliminate sources of funding for trails, walking and bicycling that have been the lifeblood of our movement. Transit funding also would suffer.

Such a backward-looking mentality was recently advanced by AAA, which is using the credibility of their enormous membership to sway decision-makers to take a position that most of their members find objectionable. To send a message that such an approach is unwise and unacceptable, RTC initiated a campaign asking AAA to join America's transportation future.

This campaign has proven wildly successful, with tens of thousands of Americans from around the country - many of whom are AAA members - calling on AAA National to support continuation of crucial bicycling and walking programs funded by federal gas taxes.

I need your help now. We are preparing to deliver names to AAA of those who have signed the petition. As active transportation leaders in your communities, you likely have access to e-mail lists and networks through which word of our campaign can be spread. We need to maximize the number of petitioners to demonstrate the popularity and importance of continued federal investment in walking and bicycling.

Will you please spread the word by Monday, December 6, to your colleagues, e-mail lists, Facebook and Twitter followers, and ask them to visit railstotrails.org/AAA?

Thank you for your support,

Kevin Mills, Vice President of Policy, Rails-to-Trails Conservancy

Please consider visiting www.railstotrails.org/AAA.

I'm intrigued at what all the implications of swapping Oberstar and Mica might be, and how we'll see them locally. Watch out for those butterflies!

Meeting A Bike Ninja

My current job is daylights, and during this time of year my bicycle riding often takes place during the gloaming hours. I hope that our pending health care reform includes mental-health days during nice weather so I can ride in the afternoons more often.



If I'm going to end up riding in the dark, I like to ride the Montour Trail from Enlow to McDonald. I know the trail, it doesn't have too many road crossings, and it's pretty much deserted out there.

Mind you, I would never intentionally ride the trail after sunset; it's against the rules. Sometimes, you could misunderestimate your time and speed. If a touring bike left San Diego at 2pm doing 12 mph, and sundown is at 5:15, how many minutes after sunset would it get to Chicago?, and somehow, against all precautions, you end up out there in the dark. It happens.

The other day I was out after hours, and it was really dark. As my friend J.P. says, it was darker than the inside of a cow. There was an overcast layer so there was no moonlight.

I was on the second half of the ride, on a slight downhill, staying in the center of the trail to avoid the little ruts and washouts at the edge. I was probably doing 16 mph, maybe a little more - my computer has a backlight for night riding, but my HID headlight interferes with my wireless computer, and when the light's on the computer is verklempt.



Silently, stealthily, a bike ninja was pedaling the opposite direction. No light. No front reflector. No helmet. Wearing either a black hoody or an invisibility cloak.

I rode around a bend in the trail, and fortunately my lights found the weakness in the ninja's invisibility - my lights lit up her pedal reflectors and we avoided a collision. If she had a ninja-sword, I couldn't see it. But then, you never can. Ninja are like that.



I hate bike ninjas, and I extend that to the larger category of ninjas in general. I hope the Pirates beat them.

If you have a bike ninja in your family, please break the cycle and buy them a light. Wise souls in San Francisco, Chicago, and D.C. have recently organized interventions to set bike ninja on the illuminated path of en-lightenment.

After all, it is written, "It is better to light one bike than to curse the darkness".