October 14, 2011

Callista Gingrich: Ellis the Elephant - A Children's Story Told the Right Way



More than 53% of teh Interweb's charm is that you serendipitously come across things that you weren't looking for, and once you see them its like catnip that cannot be set aside and you fall down the rabbit hole.

I try to find a variety of information sources, which takes me to places with stories I wouldn't find believable except for my belief in TSSAAT (the strangest stories are always true). I was on RedState.com (below-left) reading about how Obama and the Unions are conspiring against Ford, when I saw a curious advertisement (below-right).
 




From Amazon.com:
How did America become the land of the free? In Sweet Land of Liberty, Ellis the Elephant sets off on a quest to find out.

Through an amazing afternoon at the library, Ellis travels through time and discovers the moments that shaped our nation’s unique history
  • the Pilgrims’ first Thanksgiving
  • the Boston Tea Party
  • Washington crossing the Delaware
  • the first man on the moon

With its vivid illustrations and charming rhymes, this is a must read for children and parents ho want to explore history — and discover why America is a free and exceptional nation.

About the Author
Callista Gingrich is the President of Gingrich Productions. She and her husband Newt produce historical and public policy documentaries such as A City Upon A Hill, America at Risk, and Nine Days that Changed the World. Mrs. Gingrich’s photography is featured Rediscovering God in America, as well as in Ronald Reagan: Rendezvous with Destiny. Callista is the voice of several audio books including A Nation Like No Other and To Save America. Mrs. Gingrich is President of the Gingrich Foundation, and she resides in McLean, Virginia, with her husband, Newt Gingrich.


I must admit to a strong impulse to enter my own customer review on Amazon, and if not for my commitment to avoid snarky cynicism I would write:
Ellis the Elephant - and he's an elephant, mind you, not a Rino - takes us back to a happier time that we all understood.

When Ellis goes to a library (an unConsitutional intrusion of the Government into the publishing industry, killing jobs and leaving families dependent on Uncle Sam's plantation master librarian, and furthermore sharing instead of selling which is a socialized taking of the publisher's copyright privileges), Ellis learns that he is an elephant and that's okay, because the elephant is the symbol of God's right path among men.

Ellis also learns that he's named Ellis after a happy island that was the gateway to glory back in those halcyon days when immigrants were legal, Christian, and Causasian. This little gem of a book will help to indoctrinate teach our next generation the Right way of looking at History.

About the Author
Callista Gingrich, the third Mrs. Gingrich, was Newt's mistress while he was married to the second Mrs. Gingrich. The second Mrs. Gingrich became sick, which justified Newt's divorcing her because
  • cancer is a kind of death
  • marriage is "till a kind of death do us part"
  • America is a land of opportunity
After Newt's divorce he embraced Catholicism, sought an annulment, and married his mistress who now writes books on morality and values for children.

  Some observers see a similarity between Callista's depiction of Ellis and her husband Newt; the gray-white color, the jowls and fleshy neck; if it is a Freudian substitution, we don't want to know what he's holding the flag with.


We look forward to Callista's series of children's books, including
  • This Mrs. Newt Doesn't Get Sick!
  • Silly! That's Not Sex!
  • Who Let That Skank Into Our Big Tent?
  • I'll vet the campaign staff, thank you!




34 Days and A WakeUp

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are forgetting Calista's earlier works (No I am not referring to playing with Newt while he chastised Clinton for Monica)

BLACK BEAUTY THE ONE-TERMED

THE LORAX IS A TREE HUGGING ECO-TERRORIST

GOODNIGHT UN(ION)

ALI OBAMA AND THE 40 THIEVING DEMOCRATS

FOX IN FOX

CONTRACT ON AMERICA.....Oh wait that was Newt's

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