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July 25, 2019

A Perspective on Caucasian-Eating Bacteria

As a society, as a culture, as an economy, America didn't really care about Sickle Cell Anemia, which mostly affects African-Americans. America didn't really care about HIV-AIDS, which mostly affects homosexuals and the poor virtuous hemophiliacs.

But we really do care about Necrotizing Fasciitis, (NF), the term used when people's interiors are invaded by flesh-eating microbes. This is a severe disease of sudden onset that spreads rapidly. The most commonly affected areas are the limbs and perineum (ewww).

Let's examine the nomenclature, the name-calling. Carnivores (people like me) are flesh-eaters. President Trump is a flesh-eater. Lots of animals and fish are flesh-eaters - for instance, sharks, a species we make movies and TV shows about. We're usually not finicky about flesh-eaters. In fact, a lot of us think that people who are non-flesh-eating are kind of a pain in the ass.

Old-school flesh-eaters have always respected the Hierarchy of Life: Rats eat bunnies. Cats eat rats. Coyotes eat cats. Wolves eat coyotes. Lions and tigers eat wolves, oh my. Humans that own corporations kill lions and tigers for status. Sigh. The pecking order points down.

Except these new flesh eaters don't know their place; they aim high and eat Humans. If you have a fear of zombies or cannibals, this is the obsession for you. These are human-eating little critters, so we convey special umbrage in our response.

Unfortunately this is a situation where critters are eating mostly white people. Do a Google search on flesh eating bacteria and click Images; mostly the results are white people, people who have the time and money to go to the beach. You might say that the disease disproportionately affects Caucasians along social-economic class lines. Also: NF affects Electoral College swing states.

This is our own fault. We've sprayed the planet with DDT, phosphates, carcinogens, plastic, fuel exhaust, and enough Axe body spray to kill all the easy critters. Darwin said the result would be a winnowing out of the ecosystem; only the hardy surviving critters would procreate, resulting in new critter strains that would be stronger than the DDT/Axe combo.

And now they're eating Us. This is like every drive-in sci-fi movie ever made, except it's real and it's here and now, not sometime off in the very distant future like 2025 when we expect Miami to be underwater.

This is classic Niemoeller: first the diseases came for the black people, and I didn't care. Then they came for the gay people and hemophiliacs, and I didn't care. Now they're coming for white people in coastal swing states HELP THEY'RE EATING US.

We know how this movie ends, right? Some new religious figure will declare the problem to be God's judgement for rejecting the Founding Fathers; True Believers will move to Utah place and foreswear the coasts; People magazine will run stories on disabled veterans who survived combat only to be killed by a hot tub.

We did this. Well, we've done a lot of things, but this is affecting white people and summer vacations.

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