March 29, 2013

Joint Anger Management and Cultural Diversity Training Class

Demonstrating some of his promised "out-of-the-box" thinking, Mayoral candidate Jack Wagner poses in front of a joint anger management and cultural diversity training class. A spokesman said this sort of dual training saves time and money while bringing key personnel together for isometric forearm conditioning.

    Potential alternative headlines:

  • Pittsburgh Film Office executive director Dawn Keezer was pleased to announce that the remake of Twelve Angry Men was filming at the City-County Building today in spite of the expiration of tax credits. Keezer credits the local foundation community with helping to bridge the funding gap.

  • Making "EDs and Meds" more of an action phrase than a metaphor, key politicians and labor leaders announced they were participating in a groundbreaking study of erectile disfunction syndrome in a UPMC research study in which they will be eligible for an unlimited supply of Viagra to see if there is any decreasing benefit over time. In a separate announcement, the Ravenstahl administration has announced they are withdrawing their objection to UPMC's non-profit status.

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